Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Why do all good things (come to an end)
Honestly what will become of me
I don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
We missed everything daydreaming
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Travelling I always stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die
This is not a pleasant song but she made it sound so surreal..........
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
後台的朋友
前台，是粉墨登場的場所，費盡心思，化好了妝，穿好了衣服，準備好了台詞，端好了架式，調勻了呼吸，一步步踱出去，使出渾身解數。該唱的，唱得五音不亂；該說的，說得字正腔圓；該演的，演得淋漓盡致。於是博得滿堂彩，名利雙收，躊躇滿志而回。
然而，當他回到後台，脫下戲服，卸下妝彩，露出疲累而飢黃的臉部表情時，後台裡沒有一個朋友在等他，和他說一句真心話，道一聲辛苦，或默默交換一個眼色，這些都對他很重要。這個眼色，比前台的滿堂彩要受用、必要！
人有沒有這樣的朋友，是很重要的。後台的朋友，是心靈的休息地。在他面前，不必化妝，不必穿戲服，不必做表情，不必端架子，可以說真心話，可以說洩氣話，可以說沒出息的話，可以讓他知道你很脆弱、很懦弱、很害怕，每次要走出前台時都很緊張、很厭惡。
因為你確知後台的朋友只會安慰你，不會恥笑你，不會奚落你。況且，在他面前早己沒甚麼形象可言了，也樂得繼續沒形象下去。
人生有一個地方，有一個人，在這人面前，可以不必有出息，可以不必有形象，可以暴露弱點，可以全身都是弱點，這是很大的解放。有此解放，人乃可以在解放一 陣子之後，重拾勇氣，重披戲服，再施化妝，端起架子，走到前台去扮演該演的角色，做一個人模人樣的人物，奉獻自己，幫助別人。
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Who's fault is it? " No blame"
i totally agree with the idea of "no blame" policy. instead of putting the blame on someone, why don't we see what makes the person do the mistake instead and try to improve on that.> doctors who make wrong diagnosis/perform wrongly
is it becuz they are overworked? is it because the training is inadequate? is it solely his fault?
instead of shouting " you are WRONG!" right at his face, why can't we get a solution around the problem.
reduce their workload. improve the assessment. look at the flaws of the system and teamwork.
> a young adult who make a youtube video about the biasness he has observed on the country.
(go search "ne-ga-ra-ku-ku" on you-tube)
* u guys have to join the words together by removing the dash. i don't want people to search on that popular term and get to my page and sue me too :P
instead of makin a big hoohaa over whether we should punish him bcuz he has defamed the country? why dont' we try to see wat has propel him to do that in the first place and find a solution to improve the whole environment?
no incentive to admit but lotsa incentive to cover up >_<
> increase crime rate in the city of crime?!
instead of saying that we should stop this and that? and do nothing......
y don't we see y are there so many robberies/snatch theft cases around?
is it because there are too much unemployment? is it because there are too many illegal immigrants? is it becuz..............
life solution: when something goes wrong, the fastest way to get thru it is to get a way around it instead of dwelling over it.
this should be how a nation/person progresses........
Horoscope
OMG this is so scarily true that i even bookmark the page.i have been reading on horoscope since young....and i always thot that wat shape me as a scorpio is because i read about it since young cuz certain traits do not coincide.... but now i don't think so after reading this site. i used to think that i'm not that scorpioish from the previous articles i read but i think i'm a true scorpio now.
go check it out for your own at www.astrologycom.com/yourhoroscope.htmleg www.astrologycom.com/scorpio.html
try to look for the relationship link at the bottom left of the page too.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Adaptations
Is it just me or does it apply to everyone else?
i reallise that through out my life....i'm always adapting/changing
there will always be this period when i'm searching for a way.(often experiencing lotsa not so pleasant encounters).....then finally i have adapted.
kindergarten
**************
the time.... i started to remember bits and pieces of my life.
started to interact with other little people of my age. play catching with them.. learn with them.
started to get more scars on my body fr hyperactiveness, start to get dark.
you can see from the class photo, i was always sweaty......
started to experience some competitiveness in life - drawing competition, catching .etc
started to experience some identity crisis - y was the gal sitting next to me has nicer shoes (those doll shoes with ribbons) while i was always wearing the kiko or kiki lala canvas velcro shoe.(no wonder i can always play catching!!!)
why the gal sittin next to me has long hair and cute plaids with ribbons while i have boyish cut.
( i didn't do much to change that as my mom pretty much made the decision for my appearance)
time to be independent and take a school bus and be home alone.
can't remember much but i supposed those were good times?!
primary school
****************
don't understand why should i do homework. thus ended up queing in line for rotaning.
don't understand y shld the school ban us fr playin skipping and catching. thus ended up gaining weight.
amazed that there were so much politics goin on in such small community.
well i have adapted to finish my homework in class. i have adapted to thrive in school in 2 years time.
but those are the cocooning time as well....as i didn't reallise how competitive the outside world as compared to the juz mere 400 population in the year.
secondary school
*******************
suffer some culture shock and language barrier despite the promising future ahead. manage to make some good and crazy friends (probably because everyone is still young and innocent). strugglin with studies. manage to pass the subjects i dread and thrive in those i m capable of.
exposed to more opportunities in life and thus experiencing some complications that come along with it. come to realise that life is not that simple in the growing up - adult world.
Pre U
*******
thrown into the world of Ivy League while i was still cocooning somewhere in the garden. everything becomes slippery slopy. seek resolution in physical means as i found satisfaction in them..but still it's a ivy league everywhere place. so still gotta struggle sometimes. studies still sucks big time. basically i juz bleah thru the whole thing. luckily frens were good.
learn one of the most important lesson in life at the end of it. had doors shut in my face, suffer from some emotional bully and torture. reallise that all woks of life are to be respected equally.
University 1
************
i'm thrown in the world of strangers. know almost no one. struggle to make some new friends amidst the clicky culture - did some gang hopping stunt - suffer some hiccups along the way. but still has the option of staying away from unpleasant stimulus.
luckily found my own gang after 1.5 year of solitude. a group of pple who were in solitude came together.
taking the precious lesson with me, manage to perform up to standard by following some simple rules. in general, people were still nice and kind and pleasant and simpler.
University 2
*************
i'm thrown in the world of strangers once again.
rules of game play has changed entirely again in this foreign country.
force to intereact with people that i wldn't want to in normal situation: people are not as simple anymore -
time to morph again..... hopefully it'll be fruitful by the end of this year.
everytime when i'm starting to settling in my comfort zone, i am forced to change again. and each change i realised there is definitely some elevation of the complexities that i need to tackle. it's the infamous homosapiens. wat to do?!
Come what may.......................
i reallise that through out my life....i'm always adapting/changing
there will always be this period when i'm searching for a way.(often experiencing lotsa not so pleasant encounters).....then finally i have adapted.
kindergarten
**************
the time.... i started to remember bits and pieces of my life.
started to interact with other little people of my age. play catching with them.. learn with them.
started to get more scars on my body fr hyperactiveness, start to get dark.
you can see from the class photo, i was always sweaty......
started to experience some competitiveness in life - drawing competition, catching .etc
started to experience some identity crisis - y was the gal sitting next to me has nicer shoes (those doll shoes with ribbons) while i was always wearing the kiko or kiki lala canvas velcro shoe.(no wonder i can always play catching!!!)
why the gal sittin next to me has long hair and cute plaids with ribbons while i have boyish cut.
( i didn't do much to change that as my mom pretty much made the decision for my appearance)
time to be independent and take a school bus and be home alone.
can't remember much but i supposed those were good times?!
primary school
****************
don't understand why should i do homework. thus ended up queing in line for rotaning.
don't understand y shld the school ban us fr playin skipping and catching. thus ended up gaining weight.
amazed that there were so much politics goin on in such small community.
well i have adapted to finish my homework in class. i have adapted to thrive in school in 2 years time.
but those are the cocooning time as well....as i didn't reallise how competitive the outside world as compared to the juz mere 400 population in the year.
secondary school
*******************
suffer some culture shock and language barrier despite the promising future ahead. manage to make some good and crazy friends (probably because everyone is still young and innocent). strugglin with studies. manage to pass the subjects i dread and thrive in those i m capable of.
exposed to more opportunities in life and thus experiencing some complications that come along with it. come to realise that life is not that simple in the growing up - adult world.
Pre U
*******
thrown into the world of Ivy League while i was still cocooning somewhere in the garden. everything becomes slippery slopy. seek resolution in physical means as i found satisfaction in them..but still it's a ivy league everywhere place. so still gotta struggle sometimes. studies still sucks big time. basically i juz bleah thru the whole thing. luckily frens were good.
learn one of the most important lesson in life at the end of it. had doors shut in my face, suffer from some emotional bully and torture. reallise that all woks of life are to be respected equally.
University 1
************
i'm thrown in the world of strangers. know almost no one. struggle to make some new friends amidst the clicky culture - did some gang hopping stunt - suffer some hiccups along the way. but still has the option of staying away from unpleasant stimulus.
luckily found my own gang after 1.5 year of solitude. a group of pple who were in solitude came together.
taking the precious lesson with me, manage to perform up to standard by following some simple rules. in general, people were still nice and kind and pleasant and simpler.
University 2
*************
i'm thrown in the world of strangers once again.
rules of game play has changed entirely again in this foreign country.
force to intereact with people that i wldn't want to in normal situation: people are not as simple anymore -
time to morph again..... hopefully it'll be fruitful by the end of this year.
everytime when i'm starting to settling in my comfort zone, i am forced to change again. and each change i realised there is definitely some elevation of the complexities that i need to tackle. it's the infamous homosapiens. wat to do?!
Come what may.......................
Thursday, August 09, 2007
WEIGHT GAIN!!!!
I officially announce that i have gained weight !!!!!
back to my wt 7 years ago ~ 50 kg or even MORE....
my hypothesis:
1. it's the winter so i have less insensitised sweating as compared to msia.
that is with the belief that sweating actually burn energy instead of juz dehydrating me
2. i have used my brain less
3. i eat less meat as a result i eat more rice....CARBS!!!! carbs --> glucose --> fat
i remember last time in msia when i have the dishes with meat, egg , vege (chaifan) it always filled me b4 i can finish the rice that's y i don't eat much carbs. (not on purpose) but then now, the vege i have prepared myself can't fullfilled my satiety, in the end i consume more rice. ( a guy's cheap diet for lotsa energy) THIS IS NO GOOD!!!!
4. more hypothesis to come when i can think of one.
resolution: cut down on rice and carb. replace with ??????????
summer is coming, elephant legs shall forbid any shorts and equivalent. flabby arms shall forbid any sleeveless........spare tyre shall forbid any clingy top.
bikini is not even in the option even if slim.....
back to my wt 7 years ago ~ 50 kg or even MORE....
my hypothesis:
1. it's the winter so i have less insensitised sweating as compared to msia.
that is with the belief that sweating actually burn energy instead of juz dehydrating me
2. i have used my brain less
3. i eat less meat as a result i eat more rice....CARBS!!!! carbs --> glucose --> fat
i remember last time in msia when i have the dishes with meat, egg , vege (chaifan) it always filled me b4 i can finish the rice that's y i don't eat much carbs. (not on purpose) but then now, the vege i have prepared myself can't fullfilled my satiety, in the end i consume more rice. ( a guy's cheap diet for lotsa energy) THIS IS NO GOOD!!!!
4. more hypothesis to come when i can think of one.
resolution: cut down on rice and carb. replace with ??????????
summer is coming, elephant legs shall forbid any shorts and equivalent. flabby arms shall forbid any sleeveless........spare tyre shall forbid any clingy top.
bikini is not even in the option even if slim.....
Wassup
it's been quite a while.... (this a pictureless entry)
didn't do much during the hols. can't really remember wat i did during the 2 weeks winter break. haha well, even if u ask me wat i did last weekend i oso can't tell u.....cuz everyday is juz so mundane *0*
_____________________________________________________________
except one day during the hols. we went to the famous MAKOTO to have a malaysian gathering with Imel, Jacq, Yonxian, Me, Shufen, Ying, Jerome.etc queued so long to go in. the sushis look really appetising & unique so as the waiter ( he actually look like takeshi kaneshiro !!!!).
i have this theory that even the food in those jap / korean restaurant is not good, their waiters/waitresses are always appetising ;P which is very very true in sdyney......
u can never find the variety in the normal sushi chain in msia. after that went to the famous Lindt Cafe at Darling Harbour. the cold chocolate thingy is abit too sweet for me. i wonder wat's so nice about it for that kind of price tag >_<. oso it was so freezing cold. why can't they provide more conducive environment for their customers!!!!
**********************************************************
and i oso have finished my Quest of the beach run fr Randwick-Coogee-Bondi. one thing has been buggin me. my sole(either left/right) always paining after i run for a while even i have the energy to continue on. so i will have to walk instead. i suspect is that my shoe is not good for road running. but then i tot i have got the best shoe in the world (in my eyes). mayb will get a sole support someday.
*********************************************************
then it's the starting of BGD (Beginnings, Growth and Development) - 1 month with OBstetrics & Gynae. 1 month in Paediatrics.
so i was lucky to be in Royal Hospital for Women for the first month which is around 5 min RUN away from my place. RHW is attached to Prince of Wales Public & Private and Sydney Children's Hospital too.
managed to see endometriosis removal and ovary removal in OT
managed to see one delivery after waiting for 11 hrs. I get to HUG THE NEW BORN for like 10 - 15 min!!!!! TRIED TO SING TO HIM....HEHE HE ACTUALLY RESPONDED BY OPENING HIS EYES & PAYING ATTENTION TO ME. HOHOHOO SHIOK SENDIRI.
As i was hoping to get sydney's children hospital for my paeds....to my dismay i was sent to the infamously faraway Campeltown.
well....infamous as it was involved in a controversial lawsuit on the management of this cancer patient not long ago. One pt in St. Vinnies even indicate that he is wiling to travel to go to the St Vinnies even though he lives near Campeltown.
Faraway.....in the sense that it's like 2 hours one way journey.
but then good news is that we may get accomodation over there and tumpang friend's transport as well. looking forward to it. as heard that Paeds there is really GOOD despite all the shortcomings.
*********************************************************
one of the weekdays of the first week, bumped into the trio - kristen, adam and toby. kristen invited me to her place to eat her homemade pizza. hang around at her place for awhile. though can't really participate in their conversation but i'm always a good listener :P then adam brought me to one of his chill out place- Gordon's Bay near Coogee Beach. Well, i have been there before during my Quest. but i didnt' hang around for long as
1. wat's the point when i'm by myself
2. i still have a long way to go.
the weather was simply perfect.
The first weekend.
Me, linmin, josh,germaine, yx, jamie went to sing ktv at this ktv at capitol sq. then after that josh tried to relocate this korean BBQ place in his memory. but then we ended up at this Korean BBQ place at some backlane. hmmm.....the meat always chaota cuz we don't know the technique to cook on the charcoal. but once again, the waitresses are always appetizing.
well tat is the day of my many 1st
1st time sing ktv in OZ
1st time eat korean food in my life
1st time stay up in OZ till 4am
* we went to meet up kristen and gang at one of the pubs by Darling Harbour. which they left shortly after as we went quite late as we were sesated till we went all the way to north sydney.but we managed to find a nice spot with good view of the bridge and the city. traffic in the city is so bad too. :(
Darling Harbour was flooded with those luxurious Yacht as the Boat show is juz around the corner. Yacht is such beautiful creature especially at night. the moon light and street lights reflected from the metallic surface makes the yacht look so peaceful & sexy at the same time.....sorta regretted of not visiting the Boat show as u know lah. u can't own it (rich man's toy) at least go have a look right. ;P
didn't do much during the hols. can't really remember wat i did during the 2 weeks winter break. haha well, even if u ask me wat i did last weekend i oso can't tell u.....cuz everyday is juz so mundane *0*
_____________________________________________________________
except one day during the hols. we went to the famous MAKOTO to have a malaysian gathering with Imel, Jacq, Yonxian, Me, Shufen, Ying, Jerome.etc queued so long to go in. the sushis look really appetising & unique so as the waiter ( he actually look like takeshi kaneshiro !!!!).
i have this theory that even the food in those jap / korean restaurant is not good, their waiters/waitresses are always appetising ;P which is very very true in sdyney......
u can never find the variety in the normal sushi chain in msia. after that went to the famous Lindt Cafe at Darling Harbour. the cold chocolate thingy is abit too sweet for me. i wonder wat's so nice about it for that kind of price tag >_<. oso it was so freezing cold. why can't they provide more conducive environment for their customers!!!!
**********************************************************
and i oso have finished my Quest of the beach run fr Randwick-Coogee-Bondi. one thing has been buggin me. my sole(either left/right) always paining after i run for a while even i have the energy to continue on. so i will have to walk instead. i suspect is that my shoe is not good for road running. but then i tot i have got the best shoe in the world (in my eyes). mayb will get a sole support someday.
*********************************************************
then it's the starting of BGD (Beginnings, Growth and Development) - 1 month with OBstetrics & Gynae. 1 month in Paediatrics.
so i was lucky to be in Royal Hospital for Women for the first month which is around 5 min RUN away from my place. RHW is attached to Prince of Wales Public & Private and Sydney Children's Hospital too.
managed to see endometriosis removal and ovary removal in OT
managed to see one delivery after waiting for 11 hrs. I get to HUG THE NEW BORN for like 10 - 15 min!!!!! TRIED TO SING TO HIM....HEHE HE ACTUALLY RESPONDED BY OPENING HIS EYES & PAYING ATTENTION TO ME. HOHOHOO SHIOK SENDIRI.
As i was hoping to get sydney's children hospital for my paeds....to my dismay i was sent to the infamously faraway Campeltown.
well....infamous as it was involved in a controversial lawsuit on the management of this cancer patient not long ago. One pt in St. Vinnies even indicate that he is wiling to travel to go to the St Vinnies even though he lives near Campeltown.
Faraway.....in the sense that it's like 2 hours one way journey.
but then good news is that we may get accomodation over there and tumpang friend's transport as well. looking forward to it. as heard that Paeds there is really GOOD despite all the shortcomings.
*********************************************************
one of the weekdays of the first week, bumped into the trio - kristen, adam and toby. kristen invited me to her place to eat her homemade pizza. hang around at her place for awhile. though can't really participate in their conversation but i'm always a good listener :P then adam brought me to one of his chill out place- Gordon's Bay near Coogee Beach. Well, i have been there before during my Quest. but i didnt' hang around for long as
1. wat's the point when i'm by myself
2. i still have a long way to go.
the weather was simply perfect.
The first weekend.
Me, linmin, josh,germaine, yx, jamie went to sing ktv at this ktv at capitol sq. then after that josh tried to relocate this korean BBQ place in his memory. but then we ended up at this Korean BBQ place at some backlane. hmmm.....the meat always chaota cuz we don't know the technique to cook on the charcoal. but once again, the waitresses are always appetizing.
well tat is the day of my many 1st
1st time sing ktv in OZ
1st time eat korean food in my life
1st time stay up in OZ till 4am
* we went to meet up kristen and gang at one of the pubs by Darling Harbour. which they left shortly after as we went quite late as we were sesated till we went all the way to north sydney.but we managed to find a nice spot with good view of the bridge and the city. traffic in the city is so bad too. :(
Darling Harbour was flooded with those luxurious Yacht as the Boat show is juz around the corner. Yacht is such beautiful creature especially at night. the moon light and street lights reflected from the metallic surface makes the yacht look so peaceful & sexy at the same time.....sorta regretted of not visiting the Boat show as u know lah. u can't own it (rich man's toy) at least go have a look right. ;P
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