Updates

Hi Peeps

i have created a new blog address dedicated juz for my elective trip
the address is reineelective.blogspot.com or click here
soon it will be full of interesting encounters
while i'm here in smoky Cybercafe in China trying very hard to find various ways to back up my pics/video before i got rob ( i have already inhaled like 3 hours of pple's exhalation) :P so that i wouldn't lose all my information.
hopefully i can survive long enuf to blog

i have already uploaded my pics on picasa but will tell ya the address later on

How to contact me if you are desperate!

hey guys,
i'm currently in a cybercafe in China, inhaling all da 2nd hand cig. smokes.
it's been a long time since i last visited CC when i played CS in KL.

as i realised that i have many incoming phone calls on my roaming mobile. but i dont ' dare to pick them up as it will prolly incur a huge cost on yours and my phone bill.

i can't buy a local sim card as my phone is locked for only 3 Mobile Sim as it's a FREE phone.

so if you juz wanna convey a msg, juz send a sms to my mobile
if you wanna hear my voice, you can actually call this number

Malaysia (00)(8620) 36587631
Singapore (001)(8620) 36587631
Australia (0011)(8620) 36587631

i guess you can usually get me at night.
or juz leave me a msg on my email or facebook.

i have to rush back to the Acupuncture clinic soon. they actually have a 2.5 hr lunch break. what a luxury. i will do plenty of retrospective blog posts when i have the time.

一色

juz a scene where ナナ finally made her debut

This is the movie on sisterhood that will touch a girl's heart and guys can never understand.
if a guy understand this movie, he will be labelled by other male species as GAY :P

息息相系

Thanks all for the midnight bday wishes on msn , facebook bday wishes, sms bday wishes. thanks jacq and john for plush toy Bladie, candy bracelet & chocs, thanks Imel for Ah Si, Thanks Bro for the 10 day flexi eurail pass, thanks mom, dad and bro for the offline msn bday wish, thank deb for the bday card in transit. last but not least thanks perth for the peaceful ren hana & company. thanks all for making this bday sucha memorable one despite my exam stress.

LOVE YOU ALL (hahaha sorry for being too mushy)

无常

人生变幻无常

就如我捕捉着这一刻骤雨来临前

下一秒钟此景不再

无论我再尝试以不同角度，最快速度

哈哈可谓风云变测

一个月前的我怎样也没料到一个月后的我

生命起了微妙的变化

一年前的她也没料到一年后的她

生命起了变化

周遭的人都为她感叹

一向以情义分明的我也想为她做点什么

wow butterflies, how does she know you love butterflies

look i brought u 2 friends

this look like a strawberry

it has ur favorite pearls on it

this is a bunny, sounds like your nickname bun bun

feel how soft are they?!

do you want to give them names

we will call this bun bun

wat do you want to name this?

raspberry?

RASPberry!!!

we shall give them middle names too

this has a flower so we call it bunbun flower

and we can call this raspberry pearls

do you want to taste it?

*smiles*

do you like them?

*nods*

:D

BiBiZhou周筆暢

juz randomly found this girl from china with a powerful voice and can sing guys ' songs relatively well. she is the product of China Talent Show Supergirl 2005 - runner up.
catching up with the Champion. She is packaged as the tomboyish type of girl (same as the Champion)

and this is her new album - NOW WOW. no time to listen but let's hope the production team doesn't mess her up with commercialised songs.

haha of course she sang this 1000X better than F4 >_<

海角七号 Cape No.7

wanna watch this movie sometime somehow....

這是《海角七號》裡的其中一封情書。

这是日本戰敗撤離台灣時一名日本老師寫給台灣學生情人友子的情書，

“把我淹沒在這台灣與日本的海域，這樣我就不必為了我的懦弱負責。友子，才幾天的航行， 海風所帶來的哭聲已讓我蒼老許多，我心裡已經做好盤算，一旦讓我著陸，我將一輩子不願再看見大海。海風啊，為何總是帶來哭聲呢？愛人哭，嫁人哭，生孩子 哭，想你未來可能的幸福我總是會哭，只是我的淚水，總是在湧出前就被海風吹乾，湧不出淚水的哭泣，讓我更蒼老了。可惡的風，可惡的月光，可惡的海。”

OMG so emo....haha >_<

after watchin the trailer, it's not as emo as i tot

Light at the end of Tunnel

I like the feel 意境 of this photo :D haha looks like something from the X-file right?!
many people have different interpretations of it
John said this look like the little gal running towards Heaven... (actually she was running away from me :P)
obviously i prefer the X file version :P give it a little bit of SUSPENSE (with the X file music playin in background). u don't know where is the girl goin?She can be disappearing into the 4th dimension or kidnapped by ALIENs. :D

fyi, the little gal inside is not me but my little cousin.
wonder how are she and her sister?
definitely not a very pleasant childhood with separated parents.
why do adults like to play such games and make such mistakes?
something i yet to understand~~
I prefer to make wise decision even tho it means I may take a long time.
and i'm thankful of my parents who sacrifice their freedom by staying together juz to give me and my bro a whole family.

没有脾气的葱

她在十五岁那年遇上了AIHA,

平凡的日子不再，

还差点变成月亮婆婆

十七岁时没了脾气

她很不服气

虽然现在风平浪静

但总是担心这一切很快就使转变

就像八年前那一天

她。。。是小葱

勇敢的小葱，要趁暴风雨来临之前

在薄冰上舞出自己的未来

To Make a Difference in People’s Life

Molly

I am glad that summer is coming so that i can bring her out more often now.
Yesteray she was in pretty crook mood. didn't wanna talk or watsoever
saying that she wanna die....

so i juz brought her to the sun, did her nails.etc

previous time it was a better experience as she was in a brighter mood, and don't want me to leave. it's always fluctuating huh - shld have stayed longer then.

Kate was right, previously i felt that there were very few things i could do with her. but Kate told me that it is the quality time. not quantity. Many people will juz pass by and say hello but no one will actually pay one to one attention to her. haha, doing her nails provides tactile stimulation to her, bringing her out to the sun give her strong bones ( the folks seldom go out as it's juz very hard for the nursing staff to cope while they are outdoor ) :D at the same time i can practise my manicure skills :D. Ironically, my nails are not polished. too troublesome for someone like me - have to wash hand so often, have to carry heavy groceries.etc. definitely very hard to maintain :(

aren't they pretty :D
recipe is Sally Hansen Diamond Strength Diamond SHINE Base & Top Coat + Rimmel London 60 Seconds Vinyl Shine Euphoria

occasionally i will change the Vinyl Shine Euphoria to Manicare French Pink.
i think old folks prefer those lipstick bright red color....but then still gotta finish what i bot first.
haha my crash visit to the manicure bar has definitely come in handy now
still think Opi Nail Polish is the BEST !!!

Nov 14 will be her 100th birthday. She is like 100 years and 5 days older than me. :) party at 2:30pm, there will be msg from the queen of England for her. looking forward to the party. no wonder Molly was saying something about the Queen coming and what should she wear and what should she said. i thought she was remembering the past or mayb she did hallucinate. Sister was asking me do i know her niece. Apparently they can't contact any of her relatives. :(, not even the son. rumour is that the son is in nursing home too :S

One interesting thing happened before that. while Molly was having her hair done,i brought another resident around the corridor. she is always in crook mood, agitated, irritatble and CRANKY. I wanna bring her to balcony, she held on to the door and refuse. OK FINE, so i closed the door. Without warning she smacked me on the butt twice and called me a slut ::(... haha if this come from a normal person i will slap the person back. LOL. well i was amused. then she kept telling passer by that i kidnap her and i'm a bad girl.... kept calling out for help. but the people are juz used to her being lidat. haha
luckily Molly is not like that. :D

The Train Story

The train man...

Human is still the most trustable being in some aspects...

Seatless compartment

this picture was taken in a standing position.... prolly not becuz the photographer thinks that this angle is better. in fact this pic is better if it's taken from a lower level...

i think the photographer feels the same as the more dress up lady on the right.... they all have the consensus that the floor is too dirty to be seated :P
or if you wanna think in a more pessimistic way is that they are too posh to put themselve down to the same "level" as others
without seat doesn't mean it's not good. u can sleep without "fishing" all da time (yx can tell u about that), you can lay a newspaper infront of you and peel the pees w/o bending under the seat to pick up the fallen peas. you can juz pile all ur belongings/crops into a mountain. infact seatless is more practical in this situation.

haha....i think i have fallen prey to the general population of photographers who like to shoot the poverty and sufferings of people....and display in a gallery and let urban audiences exlaim in awe how beautifully exotic & emotional the pictures are and then claim the prize of some photography contest. Something is juz not right here....

Colour Blindness

I think this hand belongs to X'tine, the baby was random :D
haha mayb the mom was dozing off at the back while the baby was playing with some stranger who was potentially a paedophile.
Jokes andHygiene aside, this is a beautiful picture
I like how the toddler is like a little cub that is unaware of the potential danger lurking around,
accepting love from someone. (you don't see that often in paeds ward, the kids are always too alarmed *_*)

or we can say that this kid is "colorblinded", expanding from this
so is being racist =being too alarmed/aware? afraid that the other more superior/inferior race may jeopardise your current status/safety? if not, why people bother to be racist at all.... it's all back to the explanation of personal benefit.

i am not a political social science student so this is certainly not my forte and definitely no publishable analysis here..... but these are the small little things that you come ax so often in life. Thus the name: University of Society. 社会大学 Everyone is the undergraduate :D learning to be a better person day by day.
and there is the constant exam/test/tutorial but never a graduation ceremony *_*(luckily MBBS is not like that else i'll pengsan- we need a pitstop somehow, isn't it?!)

the ColourBlindness of young kids
this Nationalistic Commercial for malaysia national day tries to bring across the message to the adults who has too much historical societal burden on them. i just think it's ironic altogether as things are neva that simple.....



This is what you called propaganda..... >_< Nevertheless it's still a cute commercial

People Relation Case Scenarios

Case Scenario 1- Judgemental ?!

Over dinner, A made a remark that becuz B told A his unpleasant experiences with C. it sorta affect A's judgement towards C and even had hindered his interaction with C but in actual fact as time goes by A realised C is not as bad as what B depicted him as

B explained that he juz wanna share his true experience with A so that A will be aware of things around. B chose to share his experience openly to A reason being he considered A as a long time friend. However, now B is guilty about what he did and if he knew it would have such repercussion - he would choose not to say anything instead.

B also tried to explain to A that people tend to have different experience towards a same individual giving a very good eg of their experiences with P, so that similar situation would not happen next time.

Case Scenario 2 - Overpowering

Sometime go, D has told Z about Y being too overpowering by snatching up opportunities (too domineering in short). Z was quite upset that D told him that now Z is the one too overpowering in the current projectwork. Z didn't expect himself to becoming like Y.

Z didn't reply to D on the spot when the remark was made as he felt that he was not in a coherent mind to reply and he may not give an answer that he actually meant. the conversation could turn heaty anytime. Z already realised the problem beforehand but as he had done a similar project. THus he felt a strong urge to take a leading role and improve on the current project.

Case Scenario 3 - Inconsideration

G mentioned that J has not been getting along well with quite a few people.
both of them have quite different point of view towards dealing with people

J: it's hard to please everyone so he rather please himself to make life easier for himself
G: prefers to please others, and he will be happy when others are happy even that means he has to swallow whatever shit that comes to him.

G: will consider the other's feelings when doing something in the sense that "what would himself feel if other pple treat him this way" while J tries too hard to not losing out. he oso thinks that J wants reciprocal treatment: eg when he treat someone nicely he would expect the same thing back.

J: agrees with G about feeling for others and didn't realise he appeared to be too straightfoward and inconsiderate to G. and lastly who the hell like losing out and don't like reciprocal treatment.

J think that G may not know him well enuf to pass a judgement like that.

so is J too stubborn in this case? or is G too judgemental?
who do you agree with? or disagree with.

What do you think of each of these characters? Have similar scenarios happenned to you before? do you have a solution to them? welcome any input :D

人。物。事。

老家

小Y头回到外婆家，万事都新奇

古旧的木屋，斑驳的墙板，热烘烘的锌片屋顶

周围是比她还老的香蕉树，红毛丹树

午饭了，舅舅带着她在那粗糙的洋灰洗手盆

用那在不远处瀑布所引来的天然泉水洗手

这一切一切与高级公寓就是不同

陌生却又无比亲切

天真无知的她只是这间木屋的过客

一年来去用十只指头算一算都搓搓有余

再加上她还没发育完全的前脑

理所当然

她没能了解这里存载着妈妈舅舅的儿时记忆

也无法了解外婆的伟大

外婆的渐渐离去，是妈妈舅舅得面对的悲痛过程

也成了女孩不知觉的遗憾

************************************
不变的辛勤

她的民族， 以辛勤为名，以辛勤而活

来到异乡的她，这刻苦的特征仍显露无遗

在艳阳下的她散发着如此灿烂的活力与快乐

这独特的气质是如千金小姐， 时时躲避大太阳的我无可比拟的

***************************************************

似近非近

人前如此恩爱，却又不知觉的貌合神离

也难怪他们的背景悬殊

连大自然都好像特意的嘲笑他们

让两棵大树中间隔了一条干瘸土路

还好他们还年轻，时间选择不缺

错了一次能再重来

**********************************

酷就是魅

坐在一棵倒下枯死的树桐，专注的用他的SLR 捕捉大自然与人的沟通

被迎风起乱的茅草包围着的他，此刻静止的气质深深地吸引着我

让我忍不住拍下了时间为他停止的这一刻

哈哈， 他万万没想到他摄猎者也有这一天吧

他的人就如此画，沉着，就是俗人所说的酷

他越酷，我就越发想多认识他，想把他的脑袋里的一切给挖出来

认真的男人是最有魅力的. 我四肢举起同意 ^0^

小情歌 little Love song

Random Couple Strolling Along one of the Sabah beach, towards the sunset 2006
wonder how are they now.................

這是一首簡單的小情歌
唱著人們心腸的曲折
我想我很快樂　當有你的溫熱　腳邊的空氣轉了

這是一首簡單的小情歌
唱著我們心頭的白鴿
我想我很適合　當一個歌頌者　青春在風中飄著
你知道　就算大雨讓整座城市顛倒　我會給你懷抱
受不了　看見你背影來到
寫下我　度秒如年難捱的離騷
就算整個世界被寂寞綁票　我也不會奔跑
逃不了　最後誰也都蒼老
寫下我　時間和琴聲交錯的城堡

你知道　就算大雨讓整座城市顛倒　我會給你懷抱
受不了　看見你背影來到
寫下我　度秒如年難捱的離騷
就算整個世界被寂寞綁票　我也不會奔跑
最後誰也都蒼老　寫下我
時間和琴聲交錯　的城堡

~ by 蘇打綠 Sodagreen

Patisserie, Alcohol & Belief

i know the title seems like a weird combination but they do very much related to our life

As you know some Patisserie has alcohol as one of its ingredient.

~~some people are juz simply alcoholic that a little bit of alcohol is no big matter
~~some are no big fan of alcohol but still socially consume it, a little bit in the cake doesn't harm
~~some has strong anti-alcoholism personal belief but the patisserie is juz too good to resist
~~some has religious belief that forbids them from consuming alcohol in any way/such strong anti-alcoholism that they never give a second look at those product or purposely avoid them.

well too bad they are missing out a good part of life (not a very big part tho)

Belief or not: alcoholism will harm your body/life, that's a fact
belief are laid out in such a way that the people will not go into alcoholism-abstinence is the best.
I agree.
but sometimes belief are so outdated. be it 200 BC or 200 AC, no one will expect that you can add a little rum in that nice little delicate piece of patisserie to make it heavenly thus resulting in its earnest followers to still behave in a very much ancient way nowadays.

this behaviour towards one small piece of patisserie is also a reflection of many bigger issues nowadays.

PS: i like to add a little redwine into my tuna and mushroom , the taste is better. I know it's a weird combo again. but at least it's still edible.

chocloate rum torte

The Bookiest time of my Life

found out that my $30 book voucher expired few days ago. Panicked. it totally slipped my mind mayb becuz i was too busy in bankstown. regretted for procastination for the pass few mths (well i was waiting for the newest edition of lonely planet-western europe)
went down to unibook shop today. asked the shopkeeper if i still can use it. the shopkeeper was so nice that i almost fall in love with him on the spot. haha " of course he said i can still use them lah!"
yonxian said i am so cheapskate and thickskin to use an expired voucher , but i totally dont' feel like it in anyway.... it's such an foreign idea to me that using an expired voucher =cheapskate....hahaha mayb i m born cheapskate. haha....y shld i throw away the 30 dollars i earned with my sweat and skin

linger around the med books section, concluded that i shld not buy a med related bk becuz:
1. i have had enuf of medicine
2. they are juz not worth buyin in OZ when i can get so much cheaper in msia
3. i have tonnes of e-books and the INTERNET google and medline.
4. even if i bought one, i m nt sure whether i will utilise it fully.
at the mean time i regret my decision of buying some med books the past few years due to my ignorance

then i wandered to the scientific writing section
saw the FAMOUS richard dawkins section and the notorious God Delusion....wanted to own it....(wondering what's all the fuss about) tried to borrow it last year during hols but it was so sought after that i didn't manage to hold it for more than 3 days before someone reserved it.

Read more about him Here

but then after watching the richard dawkin's documentary on God's Delusion recently which sorta gives the summary of the book. i agree with him with most of the points but disagree with how he interviewed the religious people, he shld hold a more open poliate perspective instead of being so intrusive, disagreeing and confronting when he was interviewing people. obviously he is going to agitate and offend people and make people look bad on the tv. when you disagree with people so strongly why bother interviewing them in the first place -_- (at least be fakishly polite when you interview them lah)

so i decided that i shall not buy his book
no point buying a book that tells me things that i have already known juz thru my logical thinking , reasoning and various encounters through my short 23 years of life

then i wandered to the Travel section
and found that the Lonely planet western europe is still not updated.
call bro for opinion. call the lonely planet office to ask for the date of the release of new edition
only found out that it would be january/feb nex year. by that time i'll be in europe d.
so no point buying. at the mean time, bro suggested me buying the china or eastern europe version. but figure not worth buying. I figure could easily get around in china by getting the travel pamphlets. no big scale drama

Fiction is my last solution
and i chose the final 2 :D after figuring i shall not waste my time on crime/romance fiction tho they still have their attractions

1.INFIDEL by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
read bits of it in MPH bondi
Hirsi Ali writes about her youth in Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Ethiopia and Kenya, about her flight to the Netherlands where she applied for political asylum, her university experience in Leiden, her work for the Labour Party, her transfer to the People's Party for Freedom and Democracy, her election to Parliament, and the murder of Theo van Gogh, with whom she made the film Submission. The book ends with the controversy regarding her citizenship, which helped bring down the Dutch government.

The launch of the book in the Netherlands was a great success, with the initial print run selling out in two days. ^[4] A review in de Volkskrant concluded that "anyone who discovers Hirsi Ali's tumultuous history can only sympathise with her". The German edition of the book, Mein Leben, meine Freiheit, debuted in the top 20 of the bestseller list of Der Spiegel.

The book was also well received upon the release of the English edition in 2007. Reviewing the book for The Sunday Times, Christopher Hitchens called it a "remarkable book."Pulitzer Prize-winning author Anne Applebaum, writing in The Washington Post, said "Infidel is a unique book, Ayaan Hirsi Ali is a unique writer, and both deserve to go far."A review in The New York Times described the book as a "brave, inspiring and beautifully written memoir". In an interview, Newsweek editor Fareed Zakaria described it as "an amazing book by an amazing person".

-adapted from wikipedia
Click to know more about this Book and the author

2. ZADIE SMITH on Beauty
by recommendation of the shop keeper. he picked this amidst all the shortlisted books
Winner of the Orange Prize for Fiction 2006
and has a orange sticker of "a Great Book for a Rainy Day" *winkz*
i would like to add on a cuppa hot choc with it :) or free flow of Black Label Orange Juice
. seems like a interesting girl kind of book . i like the fact that it involves daily lifes
On Beauty centres on the story of two families and their different, yet increasingly intertwined, lives. The Belsey family consists of university professor Howard, a white Englishman, his African-American wife Kiki, and their children Jerome, Zora and Levi, living in the fictional university town of Wellington, outside Boston. Howard's professional nemesis is Monty Kipps, a Trinidadian living in Britain with his wife Carlene and children Victoria and Michael.

The Belsey family has always defined itself as liberal and atheist, and Howard in particular is furious when son Jerome, a newly born-again Christian, goes to work as an intern with the ultra-conservative Christian Kipps family over his summer holidays. After a failed affair with Victoria Kipps, Jerome returns home. However, the families are brought into proximity again nine months later when the Kippses move to Wellington, and Monty begins work at the university.

Carlene and Kiki become friends despite the tensions between their families. Rivalry between Monty and Howard increases as Monty challenges the liberal attitudes of the university on issues such as affirmative action. His academic success also highlights Howard's inadequacies and failure to publish a long-awaited book. Meanwhile the Belsey family is facing problems of its own, as they deal with the fallout of Howard's affair with his colleague and family friend Claire.

Zora and Levi both become friends with Carl, an African-American man of a poorer background than their own middle-class lifestyle. Zora uses him as a posterchild for her campaign to allow talented non-students in university classes. For Levi, Carl is a source of identity, as a member of a more 'authentic' black culture than Levi considers his own background to be.

~adapted from Wikipedia

click to know more about this Book and the author

you can see some similarities in both. Basically i want something that is empowering and strengthen my self belief through pple's life experiences.


i am actually looking forward to read them tho I dont' have the time yet.
As you know i dont' usually read but if i read i want to read something good and worthwhile
will definitely review on them once i m done. which could be well after my elective trip.

Karma + Impermanence

Karma 业障

After hearing the Bodhi night talk, i don't really like the idea of Karma from how it is being presented, not that i don't believe in it but i juz dont' like the way it is being advocated.

Bad Karma: people take note of what they say/do so that they don't hurt people, (this is good) but all these are done with the belief that one day it may get back to them in some ways. Good Karma: people do good things thinking that one day they or their future generation will receive good in the future .

isn't there some kind of similarity in this with christianity as well...if you don't do this and that, you will go to hell....so people behave " good" with that fear/belief in mind.
i certainly understand and agree how religion give a good guide to people in life....

but It's all about SELF SELF and SELF where are the ALTRUISM ?!!!

Being normal people, we can never be as saint as the reverend/monks/nuns
this is becuz they have gotten rid of all burden and obligations so they can afford to be as saint as how the teachings depict the ideal. it is juz so impractical/impossible for normal people to do that.

can you imagine one day when Bill gates, Barrack Obama or alikes ( i know it's not a good eg) realise the buddhism within them and decided to be the ultimate saint.... how is the current world going to function...........
so in my opinion: not being saint is not the norm pple's fault, they have their circumstances


IMPERMANENCE
******************
came ax this seemingly "chim" term around 2 years ago when
these is the only word my good fren's buddhist boyfriend gave her when he broke up with her while she is still much in love with him.
* i'm talking from a 3rd person's perspective

i was puzzled and confused and then I was like " What the HELL?!!!"
can you imagine how she felt at that time?

it is certainly abusing of the term

well we all know that knowing this life idea makes giving away your possession much easier (As you dont' hang on to it too much) but at the same time beware:please don't overabuse this term to bluff yourself and hurt others.

My last short holiday of the year

My Fight against Acne

this will be a half scientific and half autobiographical posting

Due to the nature of my inherited oily skin, I always have papules, comedones around my T zone

One pustule around that time of month. That’s about it, nothing more……………

1. Since adolescent

I tried various medication

Be it Dalacin-T (clindamycin) or Benzoyl peroxide (Oxy), they were pretty good temporary fix.

I used to buy cheaper Dalacin T and Retin-A (isotrenitoin) fr msia for my spore fren who has serious acne

That’s about it

2. Before I came to Australia, I tried facial in a beauty salon which is such a cheater. 90 bucks for some massage, steam and mask. And one free facial wash solution and the content was not even clearly indicated. She didn’t even squeeze my black heads. That was their promotion. Before that, the girls will shine a magnifying camera at my face, enlarging my multiple comedones and enlarged pores right back at me, giving me that oh it’s the end of the world and we are your savior but you have to join our long term programme to survive. And worst of all they compare it with the palmar surface of my forearm where the smoothest skin is. I was too helpless and ignorant at the time so I obliged. But it was juz one try cuz I have to leave for OZ soon.

I went to the local GP who prescribed me topical corticosteroid which totally dries up my skin and make it sensitive and vulnerable (N.B topical corticosteroid is a big no no for acne tx)

I bot the Facial wash with salicylic acid which apparently will help reduce oiliness and get rid of acne.but what it does is to sting my sensitive skin. I did my own mask almost every day which further aggravate the problem (do not scrub your face too!!!)

I heed my cousin advice that mayb I m overwashing my face. So I should be like her: juz rinse my face every morning with water w/o any detergent. (but I forgot that she has perfect complexion) so my skin got worse during that period.

What I didn’t realize is that The problem of my skin at the time was not the oiliness but the sensitiveness due to my over eagerness in treating it. When the skin was sensitive, whatever i put on it will juz aggravate it and the bact is more easily introduced.......

I bot some OTC benzoyl and retin-A over to Australia.

But since I came to OZ, the situation was becoming noticeable. Mayb it’s the air, the weather, the food, the water or the stress…..but whatever modifiable changes I made were all futile.

Pimples juz can’t stop popping out from areas that were so smooth before (the non-T zoneà cheeks)

And I don’t’ like the exacerbation brought on by retin-A (topical retinoids)

I was becoming desperate, I tried facial once which is too expensive to keep up to and my face was too sensitive to all the squeezing. I bumped into the dermatologist registrar in st vinnies, Hanna who gave me prescriptions for Retin-A and benzoyl. They were all non-PBS listed so I have paid outta my own pocket. Used them everyday, not significant changes…..so I gave it all up

For a significant period of time, I juz let it go………… w/o any treatment

Everyday I was contemplating should I pop that cystic zit or not. Everyday I look in the mirror and tell myself heck care that acne with considerable determination….i am going to face the world today w/o thinking about it but that pain of pus stretching the skin was lingering throughout the day. (yet that shows how conscious about it I still was) i can't help thinking how pple will get distracted by my acne who has its yellow pus still hanging in there.

I realize I can’t stop my activities juz becuz of it yet I have to bring myself to face the world. I was slowly emotionally drained…..

During my GP term, I got some OCP outta convenience. Found the oiliness of my skin significantly reduced but zits still come out all da time. Was actually doubting the effectiveness of various topicals when the drug reps were promoting it cuz I myself is a very good case study. I was exasperated…. I didn’t realized how depressed I was.I started blaming my parents for not taking me to dermatologist asap back in msia juz to save the money. Instead we stray to other path such as the GP, the facial, the less dietary meat theory blah blah blah. Seriously I think I’m the kind who got depressed but disguised it so well. People will be so shock to find me committing suicide one day. I was actually crying everyday w/o reason… this acne thing juz eats me silently. But somehow my mom who knows me so well can see thru my emoness juz thru the blurry msn camera – the more she probe into me, the more I can’t contain my emoness. She was so worried that I can feel that she regretted of sending me to OZ.(that’s what I think) Well i thot it mayb the OCP that cause me to have some emo moments but I will tell you later it’s so not it.

i was so obsessive to the point that i actually photoshop my pics during a period. tellin myself that acne is a temporary problem and i will get over it. so i shall not leave any marks on the photos. and in the future i can juz pretend that i have never had acne before. HL knows about it...

Finally, I made up my mind and got myself a referral to a dermatologist and strongly requested for Ro-accutane (after much research on textbk, internet forum and wiki) although he suggested oral Ab doxycline initially. I juz don’t care. I don’t wanna waste my time and money juz in case it doesn’t work. My conclusion is what is oral Ab goin to do about the acne. It’s not goin to help in reducing the pathophysio anyway. When I try, I want to go for the Best for my money. Thus, despite the possible depression as one of its side effect, I took the chance w/o looking back

Days gone by….my complexion significantly improve that I found myself looking into mirror LESS

I found one less thing to worry everynight before sleep and every morning. My Mood significantly improved, I was able to participate in more stuff without much distraction. So I concluded that those cases of suicidal depression after ro-accutane are not actually due to ro-accutane itself but the residual effect of the acne. It was too late for those poor kids to take ro-accutane.

The time and money was all worth it for both my physical and emotional well being…the key is never delay treatment. Clean n clear blue color oil bloater is still my BEST friend tho.

I’m now 3 mths into the tx and I stopped OCP as it has SE on my body. I m able to tolerate ro-accutane at the moment. Have to take it for 6 mths. Hopefully I can recover fully and it will never recur. as for the scarring hope it will fade away ...................

These are the things that people who are blessed with good skin will never understand.

Advice is

Topicals such as Salicylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, clindamycin, retin-A does help

But when situation cannot be contained anymore or it affects you so much, pls go to a specialist and seek advice. Don’t go to facial salon or Chinese med shop. You will realize that GP tend to be reserved and the most they can prescribe is Antibiotics. So please use ur logical reasoning and decide for yourself.

facial will help if you do it regularly to clean your pores and get rid of the black heads which are the precursor of acne. but bear in mind that some of the comedones (esp the close one) can't be remove that easily

I shared my experience with one of my friends who suffered from the same problem. I could totally understand how she feels and I don’t’want her to fall into the same maze as me. she was amazed to see how much I improved over 2 months when she was still struggling with that Chinese medicine regime

But I was shocked to find out that she got her supply of roaccutane from her China friends w/o seeking any specialist advice or undergoing any baseline bld test. Seems like I’m her specialist *_* I strongly discouraged her to do so but I can’t really overright her so Juz have to wish her all da best then…….

this is a wikipedia link on some quite useful info on acne vulgaris

Netball

the UNSW winter Comp finally came to an end sometime in August.
really enjoy my time playing netball with a bunch of strangers. it seems like i have quite a different agenda as compared to my last year.....a better change :D
even more fruitful as i see how we grow as a team netball is sucha team sport
no regrets for joining it at all .............
hopefully i wil b back in time for another game next year when i'm back fr the trip.
*you can see more of the pics in my netball album in facebook

Bodhi Night - as a choir member

participated in the Bodhi Nite on 30 Aug 2008
Last year i was the receptionist, this year i was the choir member. it was kinda last minute tho.
*i m never an active member of unibuds* _*
didn't manage to go for weekly practices so i sorta memorised the songs before hand on my own.
and juz went for the rehearsal on the performance day itself. sang 3 songs in total..
i surprise myself by memorising the Sutra song " Jaya Manggala "
which consists of strings of malay sounding words which i don't comprehend till i read the explanation in English. it's hard to memorise songs when you don't understand it and the tune was repetitve with many small variations
funny thing was that when i was memorising it in Bankstown i can slowly turn horizontal with the song still looping in my earphone.

the day was action packed.
early in the morning i was still like a zombie from the late night last minute memorising
i continued memorising with my choir friends in the morning

in between rehearsals we goofed around

the programme master

after 2 rehearsals and 2 nice meals

Lunch
dinner

The vegetarian meals were superb

the moment finally arrived
check it out it's FULL HOUSE

First Song- Jaya Manggala(hi level of difficulty)

i never experienced stage fright till that night when we sang our first song-Jaya Manggala.
i seriously SHIVERed - you can fill the chill down my spine. In my mind i was like " oh shit, are the audiences goin to see that >_< check out the outta the world lyrics on the screen!!!! and it's a 8 min song

in btw the 1st song, the reverend came up to bath the buddha statue

2nd song-Karma

our Last song is the Unibud songof course they have the sketch and many other musical performances

Emcees of the night ( Bilingual presentation)
the quartet

the fortune teller

the retarded brother

kungfu master


check out the apple tree man....i can't imagine this is still being done nowadays. so primitive:D
the finale - unibuds birthday cake

in the process i made many new friends as well as hang out with old friends

the badminton people

and then the bodhi night was concluded. Kudos to the committee and all those who contributed

the food people

the receptionists

the backstage
the archivists

the committee