Crazy right ? it's been so long

last time i seriously blog was like 30 June 08. can't even pick myself up to blog last week during holidays. i don't know...mayb it's'becuz i'm busy mayb it's something else

-why i am busy is self understood.
-something else: well, i like to keep note of my life events and share with everyone those interesting bits yet i dont like the privacy intrusion.
privacy intrusion occurs when fren who read my blog said : oh....so you went to this and this....why didn't you come to our party instead.... oh for goodness sake, give me a break. i'm not a very sociable person. sometimes i prefer staying at home talking to myself or imagining myself meeting Jay in Prague.

Above will be my blog illustrating what you have been missing out in my life.....

Jay Chou new album

Jay chou is goin to release his new album next month i think.
i reallise it's been almost one year since his last album. it's always during the end of year exam period.
haha, could either b a distraction for me or something to keep me relax and happy :D
looking forward to it thus i'm gonna free some space on my laptop for " you know wat" >_<
you know these days you need to be careful on wat you say online cuz it reach a wider audience (haha as if i have lotsa audience)

Tag

Tagged by Jacq

Instructions: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

* lazy to change qn >_<> i know this tag thing has been goin on for a while but this is the first time i am replying to one mayb becuz i juz played laser tag :P and i am in the mood. i don't know how many times i'm being tagged tho...

1. Are you a cat or a dog person?

i am a Dog person and Dogs love me too :D

2. How many hours did you sleep the night before you fill in this tag?
9 hours. Cuz it'a a holiday

3. What's your favorite thing to do?
Streaming movie and series

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Yes, part of it.

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Be the greatest of what i want to be....

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
NO..... duh.... reality has a great influence in my belief

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My loved ones and myself. (haha....jacq i copy u :P)

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Put in bank to 升利息 so after 10 years it will be 2 million

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
i think love comes after successful confession (influence by Melmel)
so i rephrase the question again

If you meet someone that you like, would you confess to him/her?
i would love to but reality is that i wouldn't if it's too random....

10. List out 3 good points of the persons who tagged you -
Kind, Lovable, 38

11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
Loving and kind, Confident (but not too over), Capable
sorry i 'm too greedy so i group loving and kind together..

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
still exploring who else can offend me.... the list is expanding

13. What is your ambition?
To graduate and be a great doctor that everyone loves
(but it's hard to please yourself and everyone)

14. If you can teleport once, where would you go?
HOME then buy air asia ticket back :P

15. What dramatic event(s) that you have ever encountered in your life?
my life will be the most boring movie in the world but i am glad to stay this way.

16. If you could undo doing one mistake in the past, what would it be?
cannot remember.....

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
my straightforwardness and procastinating character

18. What music have you been listening to recently?
J pop, classical

19. What is your least favourite animal?
cockroach...

20. If one day you couldn't do the things that you are used to doing now anymore, how would you feel?
SUICIDAL ....scarry leh...

I now tag:
Imel
John
Joan
Steph
Alicia KSY
anyone who feel like being tagged by me

haha sorry i break the rules...but u r supposed to tag 8 person

I am BACK with love from Bro

This is an email from a significant someone.....(since i haven't found one outta familial bond)

1. First of all, in a conflict, never engage in "Childish" self defeating admission like "since I'am blur...." this will only make people impression of you regardless true/false of being "blur" to be more significant.

2.You just need to quote your sources to verify. That's it.

3. Do not use back the word of your aggresor like "BLUR" it only make matter worse.

4. Most important of all never ever say "i am going to save the conversation as proof.." this is the ultimate disaster. You are equivalent to black mailing the other party and have closed all doors for reconcilation. That explains the reaction.

5. You are what you think. "the sadity....does not respect her" is a loser mentality. Think that you are a Champion and you are going to show to the World that you can do it. You have worked v hard and passed the portfolio on 2nd attempt don't you!?

6. People come and go. Who cares what your batch mate think? After all when you join the work force, everything is back to square one.

7. Next time just hold yourself together. This are a series of bad moves that you should learn your lessons from my dear.

Bro

************************************************************************************
altho it sounds like i am alot of fault....but i still really appreciate it.... at least it's constructive :D
straight forward in a constructive but not destructive way.... this is one lesson i have learnt very much from the encounter with my coursemate too. I have too may encounter with emotional terrorism...that made me down for a long time since i come to Australia..... 3 this year from the same person, 1 last year from another person.....each of which my confidence will plunge...each of which i have learnt a great deal that Oxford Clinical Handbook can't offer... ( It is an innate nature of a scorpio to remember such things....esp one who blogs)

This shows A bro who loves his sis....but how can you not love a sis who take this kind of photo for you?!!!

Eligible Bachelor surrounded by 2 scantily Clad "Chun" Chicks >_<

Here is my reply to him

dearie bro

wuay!!! i sent so many emails to u....now then u reply me
i thought u have no time to read my blog d. how r u doing back in spore?

haha, anyways
thanks so much for your advice and encouragement
really really appreciate it
it made my day

heart you

dearie sis

haha....i know gals tend to be abit more mushy than guys too...

I hope you guys can learn from this incident too....blessing from bro & sis love :P


PS: Thanks for those who offer encouragement & reassurance: Imelda, Anita, John, , YX , LCH.etc

I so muz let this out

YES, i so muz let this out else i can't sleep

juz have an unpleasant encounter with one of my coursemate
i shall be as impartial as possible in reiterating this

it started out as a msn conversation
i mentioned that i 'm doomed cuz the deadline for submission of assignment is in like 7 hours time and i have yet to finish it.

he was shocked because he thought that the deadline is one week later and ask me not to confuse him.

i mentioned to him that i have an instruction paper indicating that it is today. he was really angry and ask me not to confuse him with my blurness.

i ask him to double check with his gf who has done GP term before.
and since he has already completed his assignment what is the fuss about as he can just submit it anytime. but he is really annoyed by me telling him the wrong date ( i guess he really view this assignment very seriously). Somemore the date i mentioned is earlier not later. it's always better to be earlier than latter right!!!!

i said that since i'm blur so next time i wouldn't answer his question.

he said that he nv ask me.

i said even i told him something. he could have double check as i'm BLUR.

i said i'm sorry for causing the confusion. given the situation, it is my fault too but i still think he is too harsh..

he kept on reprimanding me....

i also replied in a light mode (if he doesn't get it) that if it really it's today then he owe me and i am goin to save the conversation as a proof.

guess wat?!!!
F**k off is the reply i got from him.

OMG....i got bullied again.... the sadity of being a transfer international student who failed her portfolio and her batchmate does not respect her....

anyway i'm still glad cuz the deadline is not today.... hopefully. This means i have more time to work on my assignment. :D

Angels in Fast Motion。。。 Nordkraft

This movie let me have a glimpse into the lives of drug addicts tho i heard of them quite often in hospital. Heard that they have plenty of them in psych ward

Beware some degree of nudity.


Ole Christian Madsen’s Angels in Fast Motion, adapted from Jacob Ejersbo’s novel. it is a gripping and brutal insight into the lives of three young adults, Maria, Allan and Steso, living and coming to terms with drugs, each other and life itself. the show brought us to an adrenalin-fuelled trip through bleak territory, with a jolt of humanity. The drug warrens of Copenhagen are hotbeds of addiction and desperation, teeming with souls in a mad search for salvation. I was hooked on this show as drug addiction is something so common yet i have no exposure in. (of course i have been a very good girl and movie is the outlet)


Maria is a drugs trafficker or pusher frau as she refers to herself, who goes to Jutland and picks up drugs for her boyfriend Asger, who is unable to give her the love and affection she needs. They live with two doped out dogs, large Rottwellers that are continuously high on the hash fumes and the stinking pig carcass that Asger is using for a tattoo canvas. Not exactly an ideal situation. A close encounter with authorities jolts Maria’s perspective on her life and she wants out. Maria falls for another dealer Hossein and her wish to quit the business is put aside while she follows her heart and finds love. To me, she is just falling into another ditch by loving another drug pusher.........


Allan an ex-drug smuggler turned-sailor returning home from a long stint overseas. Once home though his demons return to haunt him tempting him to do one last job.Allan was injured on board his ill fated ship and he returns home showing the scars from his accident, looking to just get on with life and not fall back into the old traps of the drug world he once inhabited, but some ghosts are harder to remove than others. And after a chance meeting with an old time ‘friend’, Frank (Rudi Köhnke), things are anything but safe. Meanwhile he found romance in a new girl and wish to turn his life around for her. This man has guts and he got away with what he does. This is the only character with a good ending.


Steso, an intellectual, god-forsaken and prophetic cynic has two bad habits, one being of the drug kind. The other is that he possesses his childhood girlfriend, Tilde , who has one foot in the psychiatric chair and the other in some dreamy state of yellow and karma. This guy is unique he reads widely while he did drugs. Tilde is trying to persuade Steso to quit drugs; a pastime he enjoys far too much. Daunted by the idea of life without drugs Steso’s refusal to give it all up forces Tilde to leave him. With no shoulder to lean on Steso’s world spirals further out of control. Steso must resist sinking back into his addiction or risk losing the girl he loves. He almost suceeded from his cold turkey. However, when he went back home and found no one there...something just trigger and he injected himself and it finally killed him.


These three lives are intertwined through Asger, the dealer. Maria does not want to make any more trips and that leads to the introduction of Hossein, a Persian moneylender who has more going on than what he lets on to, who is going to take on her role. Allan is forced into doing a job for Frank, of which he borrowed some money from Hossein, and Steso can’t get grip of loosing Tilde and wants to get some oblivion in the way of the pain.

Ole Christian Madsen gives us a stylish and grim movie with a soundtrack to die for, full of hyper camera moves and bouncing POV steadycams,emphasizing the moods in the scenes that truly makes us feel that we are as close to those hash fumes as those barking dogs are. The characters are great and very, very believable in their futile attempts to make sense of the madness in the world they inhabit and the mood is kept light enough that it does not become unbearably grim and too downbeat to alienate its viewers.

Up-close scenes of pupils dilating and needles being injected into veins are shocking but give further insight into the tragic and monotonously dull lives of these twenty-somethings. Excellent handy cam shots accompanied by a funky soundtrack give reprieve from the tragic lives of these fragile human beings and their painful addiction to drugs.

the characters are really convincing. their desires are all so simple. it just that they headed in a different direction that it is hard to turn back... Mayb they are just stereotype...but who cares.... >_<

adapted from various sources eg. monstercritics.com, jaman.com & myself

Hong Lim's Sydney Trip

29 May - 31 May 2009
We never expected to meet up in Sydney at all 2 years ago in IMU library..... That's life....lotsa uncertainties...

STRESS

ACUTE on Chronic Stress/Anxiety

1.constant(non-stop) involuntary twitching left lower eye lid for 1 month
disappear when smile or squint. was quite conscious about it when talking to people but am getting used to it. still has occasional twitches now and then.

2. poor sleep quality interrupted by meaningless dream
Meaningless dream is like you even know the dream is so meaningless when you are dreaming *_* stuff so stupid that i wldn't do in real life.................... -_- so frustrated in the dream cuz i know the dream is goin to make me tired the next day....

3.lack of voluntary control once asleep. IN THE PUBLIC
e.g. 1 farted when sleeping in libary.(ppt by eating too much mandarin) forced to wake up to prevent any further embarrassment
e.g. 2 Loud burp when falling asleep in conference. had a good free lunch before that.
e.g. 3 snorted when falling asleep in grandround. wake up on the first sound i made. realise that the reg sitting beside me look at at me. pretended that i'm awake and it's not a snore.

4. distal interphalengeal joint pain

5. Don't feel like going for netball

6. Start to drink Mocca/Latte when you don't enjoy the taste at all but just like the after effect.
6. Cute guys are no longer that cute anymore... >_<.

I figure the stress come from many things
the students
the doctors
the supervisors
the learning plan - this is the major culprit!!!!
the QUM assignment

all these means i NEED a break from the Hospital and the other people.....i need to go SOLO. and meet new people....

That is why GP rotation is just nice for me :D

The people in my GP medcical clinic are very nice. the only down side is that it is in Hurstville (have to travel) and also it is VERY VERY busy...meaning less teaching time and less time for me to interview patients myself. average waiting time is 3-4 hours.....
VERY VERY BUSY is equivalent to McD with Q and people hanging around waiting for their food.

Trivial stuff about myself
i have scoliotic spine
i have huge nasal polyp which develop insidiously.i'm actually surprise how well my body compensates and i'm still able to breath through my nostril.

So you think you can Dance 2008 OZ version

So this show is finally over
Final four ... Demi Sorono, Rhys Bobridge (front), Jack Chambers or Kate Wormald

& the winner is Jack .tho i think RHys has more public charisma but Jack has better technique
watch their duet dance and u be the judge.
Jack was in red

Jack's video

The judges and host
So You Think You Can Dance judges Bonnie Lythgoe, Jason Coleman, and judge Matt Lee (right), with host Natalie Bassingthwaighte. Jason is like the Simon Cowell but his view are definitely Sharp and True.


here i wanna share some of my fav routines, watching all these is as good as going for a good dance theatre i guess tho i haven been to one before. do bo

Hot (highly recommended)
Sizzling Hot !!! Jemma & Rhys- Break it off - Hip hop # 1 most watched video

Breath Taking!!! Jemma & Rhys - a new day has come - "Contemporary"

Sleek!!! Kate & Rhys - There it go (the whistle song)

Breath Taking for the judges!!!! Kate & Graeme - fix you " Contemporary" # 2 most watched video

Fun!!! Kate & Jack Spiderman
Quickstep

Funk!!! Kate & Jack singing in the Rain

Cute!!! Graem, Jack & Rhys - Hurt something

Lively!!!-Rhiannon & Graeme 4 minutes (Mr & Mrs Smith)

JFH A fusion of the standard dances styles of Jazz, Funk and Hip Hop.

Sharp!!! Vanessa & Henry - Lo lo Dzama "Samba"# 3 most watched video

Kate & Rhys - Give it to me

Not so Hot but still recommended

Jack Solo Mission Impossible

Rhiannon Solo 1 Thing

Demi & Jack - Brainstorm # 4 most watched video

Rhiannon & JD- Somebody Told Me Jazz

Rhiannon & JD- What's your Flava Popping
Some with Pop Songs
Pump it - BEP
Untouched by Veronicas
Hot by Avril


Group routine
i like gp routine as well

Top 4 Impacto

Top 4 Grand Finale

Top 8 song of the heart

Top 10 Hip hop is dead

Grand Finale Top 10 I got rhythm - sorta 60s-70s theatre

Top 12 Blackbird

Top 16 Sing Sing Sing

*It's such a pity that some of them don't have the original music.

Guess Performances
Hip Hop breakdance
Tap Dogs


Caleb THe young promising dancer who is not qualified but there is so much fuss about him.
i think it's a marketing strategy.
his description by the judge
15 year old boy with a jump that rivals any male dancer in the world , the flexibility & line of a prima ballerina and the performance maturity of a 30 year old. Caleb during audition


his guest performance with damien leith song in Grand Finale

i'm wondering if Caleb was qualified, will he win instead? >_<

Foreign Films

I juz love foreign films.they are just so true, raw and not as corny as Hollywood or Hongkie Show moments ago, i just watched this
Jeux d'enfants (aka Love me if you dare) is the story of a game of truth or dare gone wildly out of control. The games (jeux) begin when Julien and Sophie are children (enfants), but as they grow older they intensify and become more twisted and dangerous. Although they are in love with each other, the game later dictates their future, and the dare even goes as far as hurting and tricking each other. Tells a story of two adults who never wanted to grow up and are getting this big burst of adrenaline out of this game. Their likewise escalating love strives to be expressed in a way other than through the games.

The overarching theme is of a struggle between childhood playfulness and the expectations of the adult world: the characters age significantly over the course of the film, and Julien is forced — several times — to pick between the rose–coloured world of fun represented by Sophie, or the expectations, demands, and successes of the adult world represented by his father and his eventual wife and children. Sophie, meanwhile, is content to live her life — as she puts it "a cream puff", becoming a trophy wife to a successful (soccer) player. Nonetheless, she keeps returning to Julien, despite her superficial satisfaction with what she has.

Keystone to the film is a small tin box in the shape of a carousel. In a flash–forward segment, the film opens with a shot of a construction site, with the box partially enveloped in concrete. Once we return to the present, we see Julien initially receives it from his mother, and upon seeing Sophie being mistreated by other children at school, presents it to her. He hopes she'll lend it back on occasion, but she demands he do something daring to prove he really wants it. Thereafter, the two are engaged in a playful rivalry: whoever has the box can force the other to perform a dare to get it back. The film ultimately ends with a nearly identical shot to the opening, with the box once again partially enveloped in concrete.

The film's visual style also reflects the setting: while Julien and Sophie are children, the world is slightly fuzzy, and everything is bright and colourful. As they grow older, the film becomes sharper, and the colour more realistic. In a hypothetical scene of the two as an elderly couple, the film again becomes fuzzy, but now has a definite sepia tint.

-adapted from Wikipedia



French longer version trailer

The Official Website

I totally loved the experience of this movie... and the conceit of "the game"! BUT what I really liked IS questionable... these were perhaps the MEANEST characters I've seen in a film who WEREN'T "bad guys" in years! That said... THAT'S what I loved! These characters were completely selfish... withholding their feelings from each other for fear of being hurt... but then taking it to another level by dragging innocent bystanders into their game (through marriages that are PART of the game)... Without giving away too much... what I liked about watching this movie unfold is what Hollywood never allows-- sometimes people just suck!

Michael Carlin

I totally agree. i like and hate the anticlimax too. It is especially wicked when they make one party believes that they are so totally in love and is goin to reconcile but then strike back with an even more evil revenge. it's a vicious cycle. sometimes you are so bored of hollywood romance movies, this actually come as a surprise to me. Though the "happy" ending is artsy, atypical and symbolic, it's still abit sad tho.... shall not spoil it for you...

Getting my life back together...

MEDICINE
The start of the medicine term is what i call LIFE
medicine is more relaxing as compared to surgery... start later in the morning, can go home on time....... the renal team is nice.....welcoming to students.....less "bitching" than surgery :D
and i don't agree with the idea of totally hating one specialty....i heard surgeon to be frens saying that they hate medicine and ward round..... but when u come to think of it...it's like a division of labour....you can't totally hate something when you can't survive without it.........
anyway....my renal knowledge is deteriorating day by day....felt like revising....but is overwhelmed by the different assessments : case presentations, Quality of Medicine assignment, Tutorials, Attendance & participation in the team, blah blah blah.etc

Year 6 under the old course is so lucky....they have no obligations to participate in the team and ward round as it's not part of their assessment....so they have the liberty to MUG at home.... but i don't know what will they miss in return.
while the poor year 5 have to juggle the clinical participation and mugging altogether....and most of the time after my clinical participation, i'm already too KO to mug >_< really need to adapt and learn how to study effectively man!!!

NETBALL
as i was contemplating how to keep myself fit
i have 3 choices
1. join the gym
2. buy a treadmill (same price as one year membership of gym) since that's the only thing i use in gym so better long term investment.
3. run to bondi again like last year (which makes me have big calves.... plus i have to fight with time as have to get back before sunset so that i don't scare myself at the cemetery.

in the end i didn't choose anyof them but i have involved myself in some netball stuff
--> first i spent 80 bucks to join netball thursday social as i figure i don't want something too vigorous for a start..... but in the end it can't satiate my desire to perform
--> so i spent another 210 bucks to join the winter comp.... felt better becuz have training....but still not quite there yet...

my conclusion is that the more i play....the worse i felt, the more frustrating i get..... kept making those shitty passes that don't reach my teammates......kept having obstruction/contact till i don't feel like doin active defending anymore. Wing D is hard to perform for me....
given my like ~7 years experiences of playing netball casually....i never felt so bad before....... : (

our thursday social team is like a rojak of players....obviously no chemistry since it's the first time we play together....no training as well so how can have CHEMISTRY LEH?!!!! pple r not keen on training too. we still lack some chemistry and strategic positioning. won the first game but lost the second week....felt that coach shld teach us on strategic positioning instead of basic stuff like knowing your boundaries and run and stop -_-
but i do see some potential good players as they have the HEIGHT

playing with angmos is definitely harder and different fr asian
cuz they are taller, more macho and thus faster. Nevertheless, i still enjoy playing netball as a form of exercising cuz i get to upgrade my skill at the same time.


* last week was the record week when i played 5 days of netball straight fr wed to sun....anyways: We won the the Sydney Malaysian Students Sports Carnival Netball. it was well played in the sense that it's skillful with minimal catfighting for the games we played and the opponents felt happy playing with us... that's how netball shld be. Kudos for the MSO netball gals. stayed back after the game to watch bball....but totally no " kick" so left halfway.*_* I have no idea who is the overall champ.

Unprepared for pic

There you go!! the FULL TEAM

The 2 towers >_<

The 2 sassy goal attackers

The Sassy Goald Shooters and the Macho Goal Defenders

Check out Georgia....the pretty ref wearing the UNSW netball uniform at the sideline *o*

Meijiun: Yeeks!!!! Cockroach!!! *Jump*

Looking at the Sassy Attacker doing their stuff while we rest our legs....

Yeah....another effortless goal....ok time to stroll back to starting line again

Run for the ball!!! (Why am i not running as hard as the others ? :P)

fyi:
MSO is UNSW
SUAMS: sydney uni
MASA: Uni technology of sydney
MSA: Macquarie uni

Molly
previously i was having some trouble with Sheila which is actually getting better as she's slowly opening up to me. However, Kate strongly suggested me changing so i oblige.....so
here she is Molly- the oldest resident

second time i saw her juz happen to be her dining time. which is good in the sense that i know wat is she going thru everyday but bad in the sense that other residents are curious about me. but i don't want my attention for Molly divided.

so today i went, brought her out to the garden and driveway on her wheelchair for some adventure. but i got abit scared....cuz she got a little bit confuse and thot we were lost at somewhere in bondi junction.... -_- she kept pointing me to some random places telling me that thats the direction to Oxford Street... apart from the disorientation. she also had hallucination, saying that there is a book on the floor or some little boy sitting somewhere or someone callin me but infact there's none.... anyway i juz play along with it.... accordin to the nurse she was quite down the whole day as she wants to go home.
she had typical symptoms of dementia: depression, hallucination.etc. i guess antidepressant will really help her.....
plus she can't see and hear well so most often our conversation doesn't flow.
i had a feeling that she's getting abit upset of getting lost on the "oxford st" while we were actually still on safe premises( she even suggested me asking someone for direction).
i illegally pluck one flower for her from the garden. isn't she cute....but as you can see she looked so confused... i was alil bit worried that bringing her out may upset her more....so i wheel her back again.... then i join her in the Rosary Benediction Mass which i pretend to be "closing my eyes to pray" in fact i was actually dozing off...........which the sisters noticed straight away.... :P


oh no....come to think of it...she may be delirous instead of demented. cuz i saw her 2 weeks ago she wasn't that bad and she is having some sort of diarrhea....better call back tomorrow morning and ask.

Easter

AMC exam
***********
17th march
Went to AMC clinical exam last sat to become SP (simulated pt)
AMC exam is the entrance exam for foreign docs who wanna work in OZ, be it you are a lowly intern or a highly consultant overseas.
actually the exam consists of a MCQ and the clinical exam. how far infront of the Q for clinical exam will depend on how will u do in MCQ.
it's really interesting to be at another end of table
the scenarios were mostly based on GP setting. so beware consultant.....cuz they can be easily outta touch of the community needs :P

i was SP as a mother with a kid with septic arthritis (paeds) (morning session)and also a young lady with psychotic disorder >_< (psych) (afternoon session). These 2 are basically quite straight forward and hard to fail. heard that there are other killer stations such as secondary post partum hemorrhage and oso the infective endocarditis. there are 16 stn altogether and doc has to pass 12. and oso pass at least 1 paeds and 1 ONG . most docs are very knowledgeable, the diff lies in their approach to the patients. in order words, it's like customer servicing. cuz everytime the doc leave the room, the examiner will ask me how do i feel. it's so interesting to see different doctors with different approach.

Mom & kid with septic arthritis

1. a doc who act like he's a big doc..... he is physically big as well. can see the sweat mark on his armpit. he's the kind who sit heavily on the chair and then merge with the chair and qiao his leg ( cross his leg) and start his conversation" OK, today i'm goin to...." he told me wat to do most of the time. This is a classic example of doc that don't give me a chance to talk. well if they cover all areas then it's good. if they don't, too bad....but they definitely get mark down on the pt approach part.as SP, we were told wat to answer and what to ask if the doc hasn't address the issue yet.
some of the doc i wanna help them oso cannot cuz they juz keep talking. i juz find it hard to input some questions to them as a concerning patient

2. a lost doc
he looked lost, i didn't know why i got lost with him too..... mayb he's cute(part of the reason) LOL. anyways, he was not very focussed and didn't seem to know what's goin on. so i'm lost in the sense that i don't know when can i find the right chance to input my question to help him to score his content point.

3.shy doc
a middle age lady who look all nice, smily, slow and shy. and not too confident and oso not too sure as well.

4. a super prim and proper doc
a thin small size russian looking guy, with long and stern face. put both of this hands on the table and straighten his back when he ask u qn with a monotonous tone.....
oh my....i so feel like laughing....but i ctrl myself lah.

5. of course there were those good one,
even the good ones they will miss out some points. each good one managed to cover some points that other good ones didn't managed to.

in this stn, to be perfectly good, some minor points to cover like remember to take a brief full overall hx even u already know its septic arthritis fr the presenting complaint. try to ask whether they can go to ED if not, arrange some kind of tpt for them (ambulance). there are lot more details to cover.juz one trick, even if you know wat will their concern be...there is no harm asking.

i wonder whether is it becuz of the exam setting that render the above doc half of wat they normally are.

for the morning session: it was all nice. as i can be a nice pt and try to prompt them with my questions. and my answers were mostly repetitive...
most docs were great that the examiner ( the Albury clinical school incharged) had a strong urge to give them his name card & ask them to work for him.

Critical Error for this stn (critical error is the error that will fail u str away no matter how well u did) : did not admit the kid immediately to hospital

Pscyho patient who has strong paranoia

in the afternoon, as i was reading thru the instruction sheet to be a psycho, i was confused as well. no clear hx given, hahha that's the point right !!!!
well, we are not encouraged to be aggressive psycho cuz it can be very tiring after acting over and over again for 16 times!!!

i wasn't very familiar with what i should do initially so i was a pretty reserved psycho but i slowly warmed up. basically i was a calm psycho. i'm supposed to have some self harm intention too...
i find it hard to help the doc in this stn as compared to the previous one. but later i found something such as kept telling them that i'm worried about my work so i can't sleep....which most of them fail to address anyway ..... (waste my effort)

1. the anxious doc (stuttering)
i guess everyone is anxious.(including me, cuz i have to be really concentrated in listening to the doc and try to ask them necessary qn to bring them back to the point). but this one is so hilarious. he stuttered every 2 words. but luckily he still managed to cover the content points before the buzzer rang. this one i actually pity him and be nicer abit to him :D

2. the consultant looking doc
he looked like he has a certain age and calibre with his white hair, consultant body shape ( not very slim >_<) and also his coat but he didn't do really well. i think partly becuz this stn requires knowledge of OZ psych system (something as " Mental Health Act") 3. the very happy doc a china guy.... oh my...he look so happy & relac. keep smiling when asking me qn. haha i'm supposed to be depressed but .... i'm not that depressed in his case. i actually smile and shake his hand on his way. usually i don't cuz i'm supposed to be Acting !!! i'm such a dedicated actress 4. the fierce looking doc i'm not very happy with this one personally, she gave me a fierce look. COME ON, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE PSYCHO.... YOU CANNOT BLAME ME. after i refused to be admitted, she ignored me straight away and turn to the examiner ..... -_- as compared to this, another doc handled my unreasonability pretty well when i ask her not to be sucha busybody when she ask me how i hurt my hand. she is the best candidate for this stn.

5. The good ones
address my concern : which is my work issues. bonus: offer a solution: counseling (instead of juz hospital admission) but it's abit unfair as well cuz the instructions already contain most of my hx so most pple didn't go back to it again but went straight in telling me about my prob and that i need to be admitted.

6. Doc who gave me a label !!!
most of the doc said" Ms Lina, i think you have psychosis based on your hx and clinical examination". Even i'm SP, i felt damn OFFENDED wuay!!!. i would be either like " huh? what's that" or " i know wat's hallucination but i 'm pretty sure that i don't have that". but there this one doc i can see he is trying very hard to not to call me psychotic. only went i kept kacauing him then he tell me nicely that i have psychosis and explain it pretty well to me.

Critical Error: didn't admit me straight away or let me go home and take my stuff....

most doc will juz kept repeating that i need hospitalisation but none of them actually convinced me......
as a bad pt i will try ways to buy some time & trick them in not hospitalised me immediatly
1. simply just refused to be hospitalised
2. said that i can't skipped work cuz it's goin to make my workplace problem worse
3. said that i need to feed my cat first
4. said that i need to go home to take some stuff first
5. said that i will admit myself and ask for hosptial address

but luckily none of them fall for that. so becuz of the way the marking scheme is drawn out....it is actually very hard for the candidate to fail this stn as long as they don't fall for the critical error and manage to explain mental health act and management well..... the pt approach is not a major component under this marking scheme. according to the examiner, this qn was not drawn out suitably cuz knowledge on mental health act and psycho mx could well be tested in MCQ, not in clinical exam.

lilian was doing the same stn as me at another stream. her examiner focussed more on the scientific part such as mental health act blah blah blah. while mine is more towards pt approach: have they addressed my absence from work (MC), do i need company to go hospital, is my cat being fed at home while i'm away....

heard that they r goin to abolish the exam for those coming from UK and NZ

most doc look Arabish or South Americanish. but language wise so far so good....haha they can understand my asianish english :D

Bondi Hurricanes
*******************
Tuesday
try out free wifi in uni
and then met up juniors at bondi Hurricanes for dinner.

Phase II over and over

To my dismay, right after 1 - 2 weeks when my school started, i found out that i failed my portfolio....(one of the Phase II assessment). thus i was given around 1 month+ time to redo that with an additional assignment. Totally potong steam (kill my enthusiasm) for the surgical term.

During that period
i can't concentrate on both of my attendance of my surgical term and the portfolio thing
as often when back home fr hospital, i would be too tired to do anything but to shower, cook, eat, watch some tv, surf, stone and try to do some work on computer and fall asleep in front of computer with only 10% of work done by the time i got to bed it's 1-2am. have to reach hospital to go for ward round next morning at 730am, sacrificing my most efficient time of the day. it's like a bad cycle everyday....

and i have not been exercising for the whole 2 months as opposed to my everyday exercise routine during the hols. i lose all the muscles and gain subcutaneous fat. i can't justify myself to exercise when i have so much work yet to be done. i'm totally inefficient.

therefore i decided to take one week off to do my work slowly....
seriously i dont know how can i cope when in the future similar situation arises. i can't possibly juz take one week off work to deal with personal crisis right?!!!!

anyways, i juz wish that i can pass and wanna thank those who help me in one way or another

1. My friends: people who offer me their portfolio ( kitty, katherine, lilian, sarah, karli.etc)
as Terence would say, not many pple would offer their portfolio.... that's how the way it's like in this competitive aselfless world.

2. Assignment advisor-Dr S. Wong for guiding me through and reviewing my assignment despite his busy surgeon schedule.He gave me so much confidence in completing my assignment when i know the things i have written were on track, even when his reply is juz one sentence. when he saw me he would ask how's everything and am i ok. obviously he can see the gloominess and grumpiness looming on my face. Often I can't resist his always smiley face so i have to give back a forced smile and replied i'm OK.(I figure that's how the way it works in angmo country). The reassurance from his smiling face is priceless and luckily it's not the 笑里藏刀 type (dagger in the smile). 笑里藏刀is the type that will send chills down my spine.... u always see them in examiners........
i embarrassed myself by being too absent minded and forgot to attach my assignment in one of the emails.

i was fortunate to have one separate assignment advisor as compared to my other fellow colleagues. Dr Wong is one of the rare JEWELs in the hospital ( i shall explain the term jewel later)

3. Dr P.Harris for being my portfolio advisor. luckily i have 2 face to face sessions with him as i don't get what he meant in his first email review of my portfolio. meetin up with him where he guided me through step by step on each content point, probing me to think and giving me some constructive ideas really helps alot. i officially concluded that reviewing thru email where you have that special column on the side don't really help me much. this is becuz i always don't get wat they want from that 3 sentences remark. that was what happened during my first submission to Prof P. J. i should have arranged a personal meeting instead. I think Dr P Harris is the overall portfolio coordinator as i will see lecturers pop in to collect their share of portfolio to mark every now and then from his office.
Dr P Harris is incharged of medical education where he was in melbourne presenting to the rest of the world about this new system of assessment last week.
According to him, there are only the Brown's uni, USA; Calgary uni, Canada; Eastern ....Uni in UK that have the same system where Calgary is still pretty much still a traditional system.

4. Learning center language advisor, Helen. I had 3 meetings with her. again, she's like a confidence builder as well. though she's not the super frenly type but her help and patience are invaluable. but pity she was abit confused initially on how the assignment n portfolio work.

5. Sebastian the acute surgical team registrar- my supervisor for acute care attachment.
thanks for his kindness for letting me off. oso his encouragement on asking me not to give up. obviously he misunderstood lah, i m not goin to give up on medicine. but he meant well. he is another piece of JEWEL in this hospital. i always feel that these pple from overseas can relate to our situation better. He is from india. He is this layback and sleepy looking guy, can be grumpy sometimes but man his clinical judgement is good and confident (lotsa overseas doc though older and more experience but hold lower position then the OZ pple as they have to retrain from bottom again)

6. Joan for being my IT support when my connection was so shitty last minute. She helped me hand in my portfolio all da way from Melbourne :D my portfolio file went detour leh >_< She oso pop in once in a while to chat with me,l scold me for watching tv, listen to me complain and complain to me in return.

7. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, my fellow comrades who offer encouragement and advice every now and then :D we shall have a celebration after all these k? Malaysian BOLEH!!!! and juz a random note, hopefully malaysia system will improve after this election. if not for all these people, i will be

as lost as a dandelion 蒲公英 in the middle of Sahara Dessert.
"You are strong but you have no idea where to go........."
Now the lost dandelion has the help from different elements,
oasis is not far from sight anymorei believe i can pass as far as i can remember i haven gotten any weird dream that i fail as last year i dreamt that i fail which actually came true. some of my dreams are like premonition of my future - be it significant or insignificant. i always experience the phenomenon of DeJaVu

SURGICAL TERM
******************

Now in year 5, i finally feel that i'm doing real clinical stuff. and why only now??!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my surgical term is coming to an end soon. this coming week is the last to go.

As i have mentioned previously, i was a bit lost with cardiothoracic. i am obliged to stand in cardiothoracic surgeries as only right after 3rd week into the attachment i realised that there isn't much ward stuff goin and the only way to let my supervisor know my existence is to be in the theatres. there is not much i can do in the theatre but juz STAND and WATCH which eats up lots of time and energy too. by right, i can try stitching up the leg. but there are the eager training surgical registrar and resident hogging the place and refuse to juz let me to have one chance of touching the forceps. :( . i promised that i wldn't be like that in the future. just one chance will be enough to make a medical student's day. same thing happen to my fren in colorectal, there is simply no space for her to even watch when the pt has 3 pple: fellow, reg and intern peering over in his abdomen. anyway, i do learnt something by observing the surgeries.

in cardiothoracic, i have found another piece of Jewel - Sub (a cardiothoracic fellow from India) . he is this humble guy who is helpful and willing to teach.
when into the acute care, i try to keep track of the pt under the care of the team. it's way too ambitious to take a hx from all of them. but at least i know what's goin on with their conditions and management. the 2nd week is the time i took off. i came back on 3rd week, feeling more energised and directed. i managed to assist in an appendicectomy when sebastian offered me to.
luckily in the team there is only one reg, one senior resident. i hope that my colleague who is doin the same attachment wldn't think i'm depriving her of her chance...

you see.....that's wat is happening around. competition everywhere for a chance of exposure and training.

JEWELS
*********

there are the existence of nasty/not so frenly/welcoming pple but the nice people that I met once in a while is what keeps my hopes up that is why i call them the "JEWEL" in my medical encounter dictionary. mayb i shld get some medical terms to describe the rare jewel instead eg. phaeochromocytoma >_<

1. Dr Wong who is not hesistant to flash his megawatt smile to even students like me

2. Sebastian- who let me tag along him even during his worst time when his resident FFK him during low activity day

3. Sub- who is a rare Jewel amongst the overeagerness of other people. he is willing to teach even my knowledge is like shit.

4. Sam- the cardiothoracic ward assistant who always say hi to me and offer me biscuit and milk juz when i was hypoglycemic. she is one of the rare few who actually respond to me when i smile to her. some pple juz sorta ignore you mayb becuz they r shy or they think you are too insignificant.

5. Kevin - a resident who patiently taught me ABG and cannulation which i found very comprehensive (when my own resident MIA).the ultimate time is when he took 3 med students thru ABG (ABG + students = multiple tries = time consuming). he also told me how to deal with distress patient. He has this stereotypical outlook of a doctor: tall, confident, guy.

i juz hope that this world is not too judgemental in terms of appearance. Else it will be to my disadvantage: i am a girl, i'm a asian, i'm short ....... so do i look like a doctor? >_<

GREETINGS
*************

one thing i found interesting in angmo country is that their
"how are you" = "hi"
actually, i dont' see the point of asking "how are you" this way when everyone is juz answering" fine, thanks" without even looking at you. you might as well juz say hello, hi, elo, yo or even wassup!!!
that is when i was glad when i asked "how are you" to one of the jewels, he actually indicated that his day is not too good....tt's the way mah... not good means not good lah, why answer the standard "fine thank you...." total fakeness.

unfortunately, i 'm part of that fakeness as well as i answered "i'm good. thank you" to dr wong as i don't want him to worry. *grinz sheepishly*

CRITICISM
************

one of the unpleasant things was during the my oral presentation with dr H. He kept interrupting and didn't even let me finish my presentation cuz i was too lousy. it is a total demoraliser. i know i'm not good but please at least let me finish mah.... : ( in the end he ended up presenting for me. i know he meant good but i juz don't like this approach. Anyway, i guess the seremban folks have many more such unpleasant encounters than me. mayb one year being angmo country has sorta blunted my toughness to this kind of criticism. cuz angmo country always give mild comments. For eg. fellow colleagues who did something badly even i as a medical student oso don't think warrant the standard but then the doctors will comment oh " not bad not bad" -_- this kind of cocoon has its pros and cons. i think that you need to strike a balance to let the students to know what's wrong yet not to be too demoralised.....

Gambate for my last week of surg!!! Gonna miss it.